ShezLovely.Com

All About Me

2012-02-06T23:02:00.001-08:00

On May 14, 1990 at the Oakland Children's Hospital a baby girl by the name of Sydney Reneè Reed was brought into the world. Throughout her childhood she was very shy and didn't want to be around anyone but her mother. The moment anyone else tried to hold her she would cry, not even her father could calm her down because he wasn't around when she was first brought into this earth. The relationship went on throughout her life with her parents. She was always closer to her mother and distant from her father. By the time she was in the 8th grade her parents separated and when the divorce was final she decided to stay with her mother. During school she never really had close friends because she spent a lot of time moving, which affects that way she feels about people today. She sees people with undeniapbly strong friendships, which all makes her wish she would get out there and create friendships like that of her own. This girl is Me. I attend San Jose State University and I major in journalism with an emphasis in magazine. When I first arrived at state I had no clue what I would major in, I was lost and confused. That was until summer came and I started to think about some of the things I was interested in. I always liked writing, drawing, and reading books and magazines. But one thing I really liked was going to different blog sites reading about what was going on in the world of Hollywood, mostly movie stars and people in the music industry. Music is like my second love. I listen to it almost 24/7. Being that I liked all these things I created a blog. When I began getting good feedback from family and friends I thought hey why not do this professionially. I hope to one day be able to start my own magazine as well as a well known blog that people visit on a daily. But before doing that I would like to work at a magazine company as an editor or a writer. Some of my strengths when I write are being able to express myself and use details but a weakness of mines is figure out what structure to use and whether to use simple or big words.

Here Today... Gone Tomorrow

2011-11-16T11:04:00.001-08:00

I've been crying for hours. Literally hours. My eyes are hurting. My head is pounding. My heart is breaking. Someone I wasn’t even that close to has turned my world around. The laugh and the way you talked and the way you greeted me sticks in my head.

A life can end so soon. In just a blink of the eye. Those who loved you just seen you and now you’re gone. Sleeping with the Angels and the man above.

I hate the thought of death. I hate knowing someone can leave this earth so soon. It breaks my heart. I wish people wouldn’t take things for granted. I wish they would show/tell the people they love and care about how much they mean to them everyday.

I’m hurt. Hurt about this situation. Hurt that my babe is hurting. I’m just really hurt. Life is crazy

R.I.P Lil Rick

11-15-11

I woke up this morning and I still feel the same. still crying. just feeling horrible. Why this is bothering me so much i don't know? I knew him for almost a year. He was funny and always smiling. He just had a birthday. He was so young. He had his whole life ahead of him.

I keep looking at his FB I can see how much he was loved and I only hope he can see it too.

Anti-Social

2011-11-10T23:25:00.000-08:00

Is what they call me.

Are they right? In a way they are. But there is a reason for my isolation. You wanna know what it is? Well let me tell you.

We are not the same. We don't do the same things. We don't talk about the same stuff. I'd rather sit in my room and listen to music. Maybe catch up on my shows. Think about what I want to do with my life.

I don't want to listen to your stories about NOTHING. I don't want to sit in a room filled with smoke from all that "medical marijuana" you guys sit up and smoke. I don't want to listen to your loud mouths and stupid laughs.

You guys aren't even really my friends. Your my associates and I don't care to spend much time with my associates.

So this is what makes me anti-social.

Now If I wanted. I could laugh at all your stupid jokes and stupid stories. I could sit up and smoke and act like someone other than me to fit in with you guys. BUT i'd rather not.

2011-08-18T22:30:00.000-07:00

It was a cold summer night, the city was full of bright lights.

Up the street was a guy and his girlfriend, they could've actually been husband and wife.

They were laughing and showing each other affection, while across the street there was a

young man helping an old woman. Just a few more blocks away there was a girl with a group of her friends.

They were tall and beautiful, looked full of life. From the looks of it I would have guessed they were just coming from a club.

Then there was me, Angie, walking down the street of a place I thought was a loving city. That was until I reached a street

with a dark alley and a feeling that something bad was about to happen came over me.

There was a man leaning against the wall but I wasn't sure if he seen me. My heart started to beat, it felt like it was going to jump out of me,

my palms got sweaty, and my mind was telling me to flee. Suddenly I heard him scream out "Hey can I have some change?"

But something was telling me, "Angie don't go that way." I ignored his question and was about to head on my way but

before you know it I was being pulled in to the alley.

I screamed out "help me" but at that moment I realized the streets became empty. I struggled to free myself from his grip but

he definietly had an advantage over me. He was tall, medium-skinned with an athletic body, that of a football player.

The more I looked at him I noticed that he was nowhere near homeless. He was nicely dressed and well groomed. That's when It hit me, he had

been waiting there the whole time for someone, that someone ended up being me.

He moved his lips towards mine attempting to kiss me. When I opened my mouth to scream he balled up his fist and hit me.

All I could think is why me? How could this happen in my own city.

He grabbed me by the neck and forced my lips open with his tongue. As I tried to pull away the grip around my neck got tighter.

"move again and I'll kill" he said. Fearing for my life I was now his victim, doing everything he said.

He ripped off my blouse and began fondling my breast. As he touched me with his rough hands I began to feel sick.

Tears rolled down my face uncontrollably, wishing I was any place but there.

He then slide his hand down my skirt and i knew what was coming next. He slammed me to the ground and forced himself in me.

Those 7 minutes in hell seemed like an enternity.

He finally got up and ran but not before saying one more thing, "if you tell anybody it's going to be you and me." With that being said he snatched my ID and ran off into the night. I must have laid there for a hour thinking how could this be. My beautiful night had turned into a nightmare that was going to haunt me for life.

I stayed locked in the house crying for weeks thinking about the man that raped me. Everyone at work had started to worry about me. About 2 months later I had the courage to open up to somebody and it hurt me because they didn't believe me.

"He raped me" I screamed.

"why are you lying to me" she said

"He really raped me" I yelled out again

"Maybe it was just a dream" she blurted out

"He hit me, choked me, slammed me to the ground in a dark alley and violated me. He raped me I tell you. I didn't sleep for weeks. the only images in my head is how he ripped off my blouse then my panties and I laid there as he had sex with me. He raped me and left me in that dark alley."

As I said those last words I broke down in tears and never told my story to another soul again. That was until I thought about the next young girl that could become a victim. I went to the police and told them every thing that happened. It turned out that I wasn't the only woman.

When they say women get raped or beat it's because they deserved it. I didn't deserve it, they didn't deserve it. I wasn't raped because Of what I was wearing. I wasn't raped for the things I was saying. I wasn't raped because I was flirting. And I wasn't raped because i was out partying. I never seen that man in my life, I didn't know who he was. I was raped for being a woman at the wrong place wrong time.

2011-08-18T17:59:00.000-07:00

If the four walls could talk they'd tell you she's lost it, she's lost him.

It used to be a house of love then he started coming home late, claiming he had to stay at work.

They hours got longer and longer. Eventually he wasn't coming home and when he did he smelt like another woman.

There was no more kissing, there was no more hugging, there was no more love making.

they eventually even stopped talking.

sitting in a room crying. She can't even see she's drowning in her tears.

Her heart is shattered on the ground and there's no one there to put together the pieces

looking at those four walls is driving her crazy.

Now all the neighbors ever hear are crys and screams. Dishes are breaking and doors are slamming.

Music is blasting then you hear laughing.

Now she's started drinking. taking shots every night to fall asleep.

She's bruised, she's damaged, she's scarred and there's no way of fixing it.

Love up and walked out the door leaving her lonely, empty.

2011-08-16T22:23:00.001-07:00

Young and naive, never listening before she speaks. Walking around thinking every man she meets is sweet. Baby he’s just a dog, far from a king. Why be his bone when you can be his queen?

I know you want to live that fairy-tale life but they way you act you’ll never be someone’s wife. He’s looking for beauty, intelligence, honesty, and love. Not someone who wants to be with him because he has a few bucks. He wants someone pure and sweet, not the girl who’s name is floating up and down the streets

babygirl don’t be so young and naive. Listen to what I have to say before you speak. Life isn’t easy and neither should you be. Don’t let his smooth words get you into the sheets.

You deserve honesty but his talk is cheap. You deserve love but he just wants you to be his little freak. He’ll tell you you can have the world if you just come with me. He’ll take you to places you’ve never seen, buy you material things like diamond rings.

But babygirl his talk was cheap. He got you in the bed and turned you into his freak. Recorded the show now your known as the freak in the sheets.

I told you not to be so young and naive Now you’re at home crying to me. ”He said I was beautiful and was all he needs. he said we would go places I never seen, we were supposed to go on shopping sprees. I thought I was his lady but he lied to me, I seen him with that bitch mercedes from 64th street.”

babygirl I told you his talk was cheap but you didn’t want to listen to me when I said you were young and naive.

Unprotected Sex Comes W/ Consequences

2011-06-24T21:56:00.000-07:00

and people seem to act like they don’t know that. I know you know that. I know you had the talk with your parents. I know you’ve heard about it at school. I know you seen it on TV and I KNOW some of us have had to deal with those consequences at one point in life. For those of you that haven’t I’m positive you don’t want to.

Anyways us human beings go around doing some of the riskiest things ever and one of those are SEX and UNPROTECTED SEX at that. We met someone we know within a certain amount of time if we are going to have sex with some but the one thing that seems to be forgotten and completely just never comes across his or her mind is if they are going to use a condom. We lay there on our backs not thinking that unprotected sex is a matter of life and death.

When I say Life and Death I’m talking about a few things

bringing a baby into this world or deciding to take one out knowing that baby has no voice
catching a STD or AIDS/HIV,

We lay there and just let it happen. We don’t think about the consequences we may be faced with after the fact, even though we know there are some.

Then we have those people that have to blame their mistake on the person they were with saying stuff like “you did this to me” and “this is your fault.” NO!!!! It is both people’s faults. You didn’t stop him/her from entering you. You didn’t say, “hey we need to use a condom.” you didn’t say “if we don’t have protection we can’t have sex.” You just let it happen. It takes TWO, not ONE, so at the end of it all you both made those mistakes together and both have to deal with them.

We need to stop pointing our fingers at others and point them at ourselves because we knew the consequences. We knew what could happen. But most of us do nothing to stop it.

And people who use excuses like “I’m in a committed relationship” and “I’m on birth control,” don’t think you are excluded out of this cause you can end up dealing with the consequences to. Birth control doesn’t prevent STDs and you can also still get pregnant. Then just because you are committed to someone doesn’t mean you can’t get a disease. Say one day he just happens to fool around on you, it was his first and last time but it only takes one time for him to come home with and STD or worse.

Be smart.

2011-05-17T19:51:00.001-07:00

late night creepin.

early morning sneakin.

lookin around making sure neighbors not peekin

cause baby he’d go crazy if he knew i was your lady

tell me how did i get here.

it started the beginning of may

i wasn’t having a good day

i saw this fella walking my way

and it seemed like he had something to say

he pulled me by the arm and asked me what was wrong

well me and my man got into a fight

now i feel like i no longer belong

and that’s how i ended up

late night creepin.

early morning sneakin.

lookin around making sure neighbors not peekin

cause baby he’d go crazy if he knew i was your lady

tell me how did i get here

the first time i fell asleep in your arms i knew i was wrong

but baby the way you caress me

and slowly sex me drives crazy

i forget i’m somebody else’s lady

i know i got a man at home waiting to make me moan

but i continue to go on with the

late night creepin.

early morning sneakin.

lookin around making sure neighbors not peekin

cause baby he’d go crazy if he knew i was your lady

tell me how did i get here

i’m trapped in this love affair

lying to him isn’t gonna get me anywhere

so i think it’s time to let him go

cause i know that i can’t keep

late night creepin.

early morning sneakin.

lookin around making sure neighbors not peekin

cause baby he’d go crazy if he knew i was your lady

tell me how did i get here

and i don’t wanna lose my baby

so it’s time i tell you to be gone.

we won’t be doing no more late night creepin late night creepin

"Her Little Red Pumps"

2011-04-28T12:00:00.001-07:00

She walked in the house and threw on something sexy; some black leggings, a leopard corset, and a black cardigan that squeezed her body tight. She left her house in sandals until she got to her destination; that’s when the red pumps came out. Those were the pumps of sin. It was as if they changed her into a whole new person; someone she didn’t even know. She felt sexy and way in control. Putting one foot out the car, her first day in this life was about to start. She walked her way to the building and was greeted by a strange man. He took her upstairs and that’s where it all began. He gave her a shot of tequila and he had water. He talked about his guitar and then put on some music. He handed her the cash letting her know it was time for some ass. She slipped off the red pumps and slowly took off her leggings leaving on her corset and showing her red lace thong. He slid it off and laid her on the bed then he slipped on his protection and joined her in bed. He licked and sucked on her breast and then she sucked him slow. He pushed her back and asked was she ready, that’s when she said lets go. He penetrated her deep and brought her to a climax. No guy had ever made her feel that good before. After her duty was done she slipped on those red pumps and made her way down the stairs. After that day she would never put on those red pumps again. They sent her to a world full of sin, the one the devil lived in. She refused to follow his devilish ways so she threw those red pumps away.

"Do You Think You Can Love Him?"

2011-04-27T00:22:00.001-07:00

i was asked this question today. i wanted to answer but i didn’t know how to answer. i don’t even know what love is so i can i know if i can love him. but even though i don’t know what love is i wanted to say i could but i just didn’t let the words escape my mouth. i lay next to him and i feel absolutely amazing. i feel like i don’t want to be with anyone else or anywhere else but next to him. but do i think i can love him? i don’t even want to think about it. i want to know that i can. i want it to just happen without be thinking about it. i don’t want to question love so i will leave that question unanswered.

In My Dreams

2011-04-27T00:21:00.001-07:00

sometimes i wish you would pop in my dreams and i can do everything to you that i please. kiss you slowly from your head to your toes. make your body quiver without laying down a finger. rub your back and kiss on your neck. take you to the bedroom and wait for you to ask what’s next.

i want you to pop up in my dreams so i can hear you scream. scream because you love the way my body matches your body so great and the way i move my hips gets you higher than any drug you can take.

maybe if you pop in my dreams i may get a taste of how you really taste.

i’ll wake up and realize it’s all just a dream and then think about if it can all become reality.

Feeling Trapped

2011-04-27T00:20:00.000-07:00

it sucks feeling like you are stuck with someone for the rest of your life. you feel like you are their property and you have no say so. they say they are trying to do what’s best for you but honestly they are only thinking about themselves. they say they want you to have the finer things in life but really they need you in order to get those finer things into their lives. you do all you can to get them to see that what they are trying to get you to do is wrong but nothing you are saying matters.

you feel stuck.

you feel unappreciated

you feel like a trophy

they tell you, you are always going to be theirs and they don’t care who you are with, you belong to them is what they say.

but you know that all this is false but everything you know and are saying you just can’t get

through to them.

No I Don't Miss You

2011-04-22T22:48:00.001-07:00

i don’t get how people who have disrespected me so bad have the nerve to ask me if i miss them.

do you know how you treated me? you treated me like dirt on the ground. you spat at me without actually spitting on me. you made me feel worthless. like i was just some girl you picked up off the street and took home. telling me what to do like i was some kinda hoe and you were my pimp. and you really want to know if i miss you. you really have the nerve to ask can you have one more chance to get this right one day or next lifetime. if you can’t get it right the first, second, or third time, what makes you think you can get it right any other time. you say you miss your “movie buddy” but every time i tried to watch a movie with all you wanted to do is try to get me to have sex with you orally. all those times i refused i was subjected to the disrespect coming out of your month. i remember you even kicked me out your house for not doing it but once i hit that door you ask me if i’m really going to leave. fuck yeah i’m really going to leave. so don’t ever hit me with that you miss me. you don’t even know how to respect me. you say you had all this faith in me. faith that i’d never lie to you and be loyal to you. but all you wanted is my money. wanted me to treat you like king all mighty when you couldn’t even treat me like a normal human being. telling me i’m not taking steps to further this “relationship” when you were taking no steps at all and you admitted it. telling me why should i want you to be my gf and why should i take steps too. nigga that’s what people do when they like each other. but you are to stupid to see stuff like that. you’re stuck in a young oakland boy mind frame. so no i don”t fucking miss you.

but hey like i told him i don’t hold grudges but i still don’t miss you and i’d never be with you. the only reason i would have to deal with you is because are little sister’s are best friends and even with that being the case i still don’t have to have anything to do with you.

2011-04-16T21:43:00.001-07:00

rose petals on the living room floor once i’m greeted at the door. you grab me by the hand and we make our way towards the bathroom door. you cover my eyes and tell me not to peak. i can feel your hands undressing and caressing me. there’s a chill going down my spin and a tingle between my thighs. my body starts to shake as i feel your fingers penetrate. you stop before i begin to flow and guide me into warm water filled with bubbles. letting the water run down my breast i know it’s more than this bath that’s making me wet. drying me off with a towel, my whole body begins to smile. i can feel my body being lifted in the air and 2 seconds later i can tell that i’m laid out on a bed. my legs begin to spread and i feel strong hands gripping on my breast. i feel wind between my thighs and then it turns into moist kisses. he licked then kissed then licked then kissed teasing me until i finally thrusted my hips. making love to me with his tongue i begin to moan finally saying “baby come on.” he removes his tongue replacing it with his dick making love to me till my body went stiff…….

2011-04-16T21:42:00.001-07:00

kiss me slow

kiss me deep

kiss me passionately

grab my neck and put your hand on my chest

whisper in my ear, tell me baby you need me

kiss me slow

kiss me deep

kiss me passionately

grab my hair and bend me over the chair

whisper in my ear, tell me how much you want me

kiss me slow

kiss me deep

kiss me passionately

make me scream and grip the sheets

let me whisper in your ear and tell you to go deep…….

Reality vs. Imagination

2011-04-09T13:21:00.001-07:00

So I have this vivid memory. I haven’t thought about it in forever but for some reason on my drive home this morning it crossed my mind. When I was 17, I went to this party in San Pablo. To think about it, it’s actually right around the corner from where I live now. Long story short, I got really drunk, it was four of us, we some how split up. Bam went with my cousin and I went with D. The four of us were the Kool Kidz.

ANyways here is where my vivid memory comes in. I know I was really drunk and throwing up. He finally got me settle into his room so I could start feeling better before I went home. I can remember him trying to kiss me all on my lips but I kept turning away. It felt like the room was spinning. I kept moving my head but he wouldn’t stop. I can remember him touching me and unbuttoning my pants. He had sex with me, I know he did and the only reason he stopped was because my phone rang. I’ve only brought this up to one other person because I didn’t know if it really happened or if it was just my imagination. After the whole situation every time he came around I felt really weird. I didn’t want to be in his presence. I even brought up the courage to ask if he did anything to me that night I was out of my mind drunk. Of course he said no.

But If it didn’t happen why can I remember that night so good now.? Wouldn’t I have forgotten about the whole thing just like I do my dreams.

It’s crazy to know that someone you called a friend could just take advantage of you at your weakest points. He was supposed to be taking care of me not advantage.

"Birdy" The Ex I Don't Regret

2011-04-02T21:21:00.000-07:00

My ex boyfriend, enemy, lover, almost baby father..... For some reason this guy always pops in my head. He makes me think of the kind of relationship I never want to be in again. Full of lies and pain.

I remember the first time we ever hung out. It was the day after my junior prom. He met me at my friend Cydnee's house and my sister picked us up and we went to my house so I could get dressed. He met my mother that day. She didn't think much of him. My sisters, him, and I went to the movies. After we went to McDonalds, took my little sister home, dropped my sister off at her gf's, and she let me and Birdy take the car for a while. We ended up at my cousin's aunts house, his stepdad was her son. So turned out my cousin's family already knew him. I met his mom that day too, they were smoking weed together. Lol that was the first time I ever seen that.

Pretty much after that day we were inseparable. My family didn't like that I was dating him, while besides my big sister; Me, her girlfriend, her, and Birdy were always together. It's funny cause she started dating her girl around the time I started dating him. ANYWAYS my family was telling me how he's a bad influence and has been to jail for robbery and drug possession but I didn't want to listen to anyone. I thought I was in love. Friends would ask why are you with that guy, he used to beat up his ex girlfriend. It was true but he never laid a hand on me.

That same girl he used to beat ended up being the same girl he would cheat on me with. I remember I went to his house a few times and she would be there. It erked the hell out of me. Once me, my sister and her girlfriend went to pick him up and there she was walking out of the house. As soon as she seen me she caused a scene; running into the house, coming back out with a bag, and yelling at him. My sister finally said "Birdy lets go." and he came. She even called my phone once telling me how she spent the night with him and they had sex. He denied it all and made it seem like me and her were just crazy.

For awhile we were happy, he was basically living with me, my sis, her gf, and her gf son. We were like a big family. Every time my sister introduced him to people she would say, "meet my brother-in-law." I loved it.

Me and him would argue all the time. I remember one time he was all in my face yelling and trying to get through the front door but I wouldn't let him leave. It would get intense but again he never laid a hand on me. We would break up and a few hours later or a few days we would be back together. Even when we were broken up he was still spending time with my sister and sis-in-law.

Then I ended up pregnant, by him. We weren't together. I didn't even know at first it didn't phase me. Until my sis-in-law said, "I'm getting you a pregnancy test." I had gained weight and my period was late. I would just spot all the time. I got really sick and was sleeping all the time. I had to take 4 test and it ended up being positive. The first 2 test we couldn't tell. I remember my nephew kept jumping on my stomach and my sis-in-law had to push him off of me.

Birdy was so happy, he thought I was going to make him a daddy. I even actually thought about but I couldn't. I was 17 and he was 20 with nothing going for him. One day I told him I was getting an abortion and I remember the exact words he said ,"I will beat you and make you miscarry before you get an abortion." he lived 2 mins away from me and I was scared of him during that time because he turned into a crazy man. He finally got it together and one day just came and laid with me. He rubbed my stomach, kissed it, and he even cried that day. He wanted me to have that baby so bad.

After I got the abortion things were never the same. He would always call and tell me how I killed his baby and how old the baby woulda been. He even had a name, Jayden. He always made me feel worst then I already felt.

Birdy birdy birdy. I think I felt every emotion I could with that guy. That relationship taught me so much so I don't regret it. Up until last year he would still call and tell me how much he loved me but I couldn't bring myself to every be with him again. It would be the same problems we had when I was a 17 year old with not a clue.......

Marriage....

2011-04-01T23:40:00.000-07:00

do i believe in it? yes

i believe that if you are truly in love with someone and you both agree it’s time to take you’re relationship even further, and put it on paper go for it. it’s something most of us want to do when we get older. get married and have children.

i don’t want to have my kids first and then hope and pray that this man will marry me and always be there for me and the children.

i want to meet a man and have a long lasting relationship. i want him to know everything about me and i want to know everything about him. then i want to move in together after a few years. see if i can deal with that. can i deal with him leaving up the seat every time he goes to the bathroom. can i deal with him throwing his clothes everywhere and then waiting for me to pick them up. can he deal with me when i’m pmsing. can we deal with each other’s friends and family coming in and out the house.

what i’m saying is i want to take all the steps it takes to get to marriage. make sure everything is right. i don’t want to be that person that falls in love at first sight and walking down the aisle 3 months later.

why? because i do believe in a thing called divorce. and divorces get messy. and waste a lot of time. and when i get married i only want to do it once so divorce is out of the question.

2011-03-30T13:31:00.000-07:00

Why is something so beautiful looked down upon?

Why must people say we are going against our own “kind”?

Why must there be so much hate

Many only see the color of someone’s skin and not who they truly are. Color doesn’t exist when it comes to love. It’s all about what’s in the heart. No one’s race would ever stop me from getting to know them on a more intimate level.

How would you feel if you weren’t allowed to love someone because of the color of their skin? Not so good right. Others don’t see things the way certain people do.

You know if interracial love didn’t exist a lot of our friends and even relatives wouldn’t be here.

How do you feel about interracial love?

Frustrated

2011-03-29T19:21:00.000-07:00

With my laptop. This one object means sooo much to me. I spend almost all of my time on it. I barely even watch tv anymore. Yesterday night it ended up with a virus. I blame it on the site www.watchdexternow.com. I've been watching some of the seasons but they don't have season 3 & 4 on netflix so I thought, "hey why not find it online." I wish that thought never came to my head because thats exactly when it started to mess up. I spent all night pissed off and sad trying to fix my laptop and even part of today. I restored it like a million times and that did nothing. So I finally bought this thing called Speedy PC. it cleaned up all the virus, thank the lord but I still see a few signs my laptop may stop working. I'm so afraid to use it.

I'm frustrated and don't know what to do.

Don't Want To Let You Down

2011-03-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

Finding out you are the reason someone is finally happy is a great feeling. But along with that great feeling comes a sense of worry. You now feel like it is your responsibility to keep that person happy. You don't want to be the person that takes them back to the days of loneliness, stress, and depression. You don't want to let that person down.

While on this journey of making you're partner happy you also have to think about your happiness. You don't want to become the sad one. Then you are letting yourself down. I don't think you can truly make someone else happy if you aren't happy yourself.

It reminds me of my old friend. He would always be smiling, laughing, and meeting new people. You'd see him at the parties with the biggest smile on his face just dancing his life away. Then he got a girlfriend. It seemed like he completely changed as a person. So one day, about a month ago, he asked me about my "love life" something he never failed to ask. Now I decided to switch the tables because he never answers questions about his relationship. He always got defensive when anyone asked where his gf was.

I asked simply if he was happy with his relationship and his response, "I can't honestly say I'm happy" and the reason for that was he felt he was spending so much time trying to keep her satisfied he forgot about his own happiness.

Sometimes you have to let people down, it's apart of life. It may hurt them for a day maybe less but in the process you have to think about you sometimes.

Smile, ALWAYS

2011-03-28T00:27:00.000-07:00

"Best Friend"

2011-03-27T23:45:00.001-07:00

I used to feel like I was always able to say I had one.

We talked everyday even if we didn’t see each other.

My text didn’t get ignored

and I didn’t always get an excuse for why he never texted me back.

Best friends should never be too busy just to text there so called best friend back to say they are busy.

Best friends don’t ignore you

They answer your phone calls

Best friends don’t ignore your text but reply back to you on twitter once you say you don’t like them. It shouldn’t take a super mean tweet for your best friend to say that I love you.

and best friends don’t have stupid 1 min conversation through text messages.

Ugh I Need A REAL best friend… I feel like these 8 years of knowing each other and always ending in the same places mean nothing….

( that pic was taken like 3 years ago)

We Come From Different Worlds

2011-03-27T21:21:00.000-07:00

Some of us live in poverty. We have no food to eat, water to drink, or place to sleep. People don't have a 10 year plan but a day to day plan. They are always thinking about their next move. They look in garbage cans to find food, they lay on park beaches or on the street when it's time to go to sleep, and go to gas station bathrooms or rivers just to get clean. These people would love to be where many of us are.

Some of us come from places full of violence. Everyone has guns or some other form of weapon. People are in gangs, looking at you wrong for wearing a certain color or coming down a certain street. Everyone seems to always be at war. People are dying every sec no matter age, gender, or race. Young men going in and out of jail, children being raised with no father, and young girls being promiscuous and fighting over boys or dirty looks just to get attention.

Then some of us come from a clueless place. We have no clue what's going on in the world. We live in our own box, only thinking about ourselves. We don't care who's dying or who's starving. We still use racist slurs and think nothing is wrong with it. Shopping sprees are part of our daily routines and the only thing on our minds is what we will wear tomorrow and the cute guy in class. We are rich ignorant kids.

All Votes Count

2011-01-04T21:38:00.000-08:00

Coming at you 1.12.11

The streets have been waiting to hear what the Mayor has to say. You can't miss it.

IAMSU!!!!

2011-01-04T21:29:00.000-08:00

Iamsu performs UP and I Know What To Do With It

"This features performance clips from Moe Green,Mike Dash E,Young Bari,ShowBanga,Jay Ant...and It was shot at 330 Ritch in San Francisco,Ca for Jay Ant's Mixtape release party.Visit www.hbk3000.blogspot for exclusive material,also subscribe!"

(via realyoungchief415)

BTW this is one of my favorite artist in the Bay. Haven't heard a song that I haven't liked yet. Go check him out. The name is IAMSU. Log on youtube, hotnewhiphop.com, or www.hbk3000.blogspot

Mobshit

2011-01-04T21:09:00.000-08:00

New video from the Bay's own Eez Da Kid, Supa Soaka, Chip$ Black and A.Mo

2010 was a good year for artist in the Bay Area and it shall only get better this year.

Anyways hope you enjoy the video and you will be hearing more from these men in the near future.

Calling All Hearts Review

2011-01-04T20:53:00.001-08:00

Keyshia Cole's new album Calling All Hearts is a new side of Keyshia Cole that many of us have never seen. Could it be due to her engagement to Daniel Gibson? While according to Keyshia Cole she recorded some of the songs before she even met him. Although she did I can tell he had an impact on many of her songs like Take Me Away, What You Do To Me, and Long Way Down. She has 3 appearances on her album, Nicki Minaj, who was on her first single I Ain't Thru, Faith Evans and her 2nd mother Yvonne Cole, which is a gospel song called Thank You.

This soulful/heartfelt CD is worth the buy. Keyshia Cole is showing there is more to her than hurt, pain, and bitterness. There's love and hope in her heart. If I were you I'd take time out of my day and just listen. The CD is pretty relaxing.

Happy New Year

2011-01-04T20:45:00.000-08:00

I've been gone for a minute but I'M BACK!!!

My year has started out pretty good. Can't complain about it too much. I have no resolutions this year. Leaving everything in God's hands. He knows what's best. Don't you agree?

Anyways, I'll be posting on her as while as my tumblr http://sydzsolovely.tumblr.com/ <- go check it out.

2010-05-18T11:51:00.001-07:00

Rihanna looking pretty as always.

I can def see myself in this: Trapstar shirt from Trap Star’s Ride Or Die Collection and her pink hat is from Most Official Bitche’s (MOB) Shiny Shit Collection

I love it and I want it

You Can't Hurry Love......You Just Have To Wait

2010-05-17T23:53:00.000-07:00

“Well u shouldn’t rush it. Sooner or later if things go right it will def turn into love”

One of my biggest problems is always trying to fall in love. I know I should just let it happen. Love can’t be rushed and I’m starting to realize that. Throughout all my relationships I’ve made myself believe I had love when really it was all just lust. I cling onto a guy hoping he’ll stay around, wanting to know his every move. Wanting to talk to him and see him everyday, hoping it will make him want to stay with me. When really all it was really doing is pushing the person away. As much as I wanted to be in love with these guys I never actually got to truly know who these guys were. I need to build a true friendship before trying to turn things into something serious. Your lover can’t just be your lover, your lover should also be your best friend. I think there is a such thing as being addicted to wanting love and I was addicted. Now I’m letting things just flow. No longer being clingy and trying to rush things. I don’t have to be in a relationship and be in love. I will leave all of that in God’s hands. He has a plan for me and he has one for you too.

Sex in Crazy Places

2010-05-17T23:52:00.000-07:00

Do you find yourself getting all bruised and banged up after sex? Do you ever wonder why? Well it could be the places you choose to have sex.

According to Cosmo one-third of adults have suffered an injury while hooking up. Crazy right? Well here are 10 of the riskiest places to get it on.

1. Sofa

2. Stairs

3. Car

4. Shower

5. Bedroom (One in 10 people said they or their partner fell off the bed.)

6. On a chair

7. Kitchen table

8. Garden

9. Bathroom

10. Cubicle at work

Just Wright

2010-05-17T21:48:00.000-07:00

I give this movie an A++++

Just Wright is definitely a must see movie. It’s a movie filled with comedy but it’s also a story of love, friendship, faith, and deception. Things don’t always seem the way they are and sometimes we miss that person who is just wright for us. I didn’t expect this movie to be as good as it was. I knew it would be good but it turned out to be amazingly great. Common and Queen Latifah did a great job. Their chemistry was so real which made the movie even better. Paula Patton also did a great job. She had me laughing and hating her at the same time.

I don’t want to give the movie away so please please go see.

P.S. My Godsister Brely Evans also was in the movie. Look out for her. She was one of the women that worked with Latifah. There’s like 3 scenes with her in it. She did a wonderful job and I hope her career continues to take off.

Rape in Oakland, Ca

2010-05-17T21:47:00.000-07:00

On Sunday a 92 year old woman was sexually assaulted in a park in West Oakland. When the man let her go the woman fled home and told her caregiver about the attack. That’s when the police were called. The man arrested for the rape was a 57 year old man. Police said the woman did put up a fight

Sometimes I wonder what goes on in people’s heads. How do you attack and rape a woman of that age? How do you do that to someone period?

Cheating

2009-12-03T12:56:00.000-08:00

So yesterday on Twitter the Trending Topics were #whymencheat & #whywomencheat.
I won't lie these topics really bothered me. People were coming up with the stupidest reasons ever.

Here are a few:

@MsKitaBita #whymencheat #whywomencheat "if you're not married you're single"
@shadbeanz: #WhyMenCheat because you keep trying to f*ck him with that nasty ass rag on your head.

@MrDoNumbers #WhyMenCheat because you don't give him head and she does, AND swallow
@Acatsi #whywomencheat because they feel like they need the attention.

Anyways back to the topic. I found some people tweets just plain ignorant. There are no excuses for cheating at all. You do it because you want to and have no respect for the person you are with. When you are in a relationship that's you committing to one person and only one person. It doesn't matter if you are married or just boyfriend and girlfriend. If you feel you need to cheat then it's obvious you don't need to be in that relationship. Shit if you want to go out and try new things with different people be single. That way you can do whatever you want without hurting someone that may really love and care about you.

Ladies!!!!

2009-12-03T11:50:00.000-08:00

Why is it we lower our standards when we meet a guy that's not meeting the requirements instead of just moving on?
Is it cause we want a man there?

Sometimes i sit up and look back at some of the guys i talked to and really they had nothing going for them and still don't. They either are in jail, been in jail, have kids, or got one on the way. The act like a job is the worst thing in the world and they say fuck school. Then when you still living with your mom for FREE, with no job and no education it makes me feel bad for her. You could at least pay for rent and put some food on the table every month. But no instead yall wanna run the streets, fuck on whatever you see, and bring all yo no good ass friends in yo mom house just so you guys can play video games all damn day. Hate to admit it but that's the kind of guys I've came across in my past. Yeah looks like my standards weren't high at all.

I guess I do like to have someone around but that's gonna have to change. I need someone that wants to go somewhere in life. If you have no type of goals why should i want you around? Like honestly. Yes you're cute and sure the sex is good. But looks and sex definitely won't keep me around. You need to satisfy me in other ways. Make me laugh, keep your promises, be honest, keep a smile on my face, don't come at me with none of that drama, and do sweet little things. That always makes me happy. Don't tell me you like me and I really don't wanna hear you love me. If you really feel that way your actions will show me.

Ladies we need to stop looking for a man or even a woman to complete us. Like my God Sis Kimmy told me, "you are already whole!!! Now let the man who is also 100% find you"
We women need to learn how to love ourselves before loving someone else. If you can't do that then you will always be lowering your standards. We know what's best for us so we should start doing what's best for us. "Never settle for less when you can have the best."

What I Have To Say About Minaj

2009-10-30T21:11:00.001-07:00

Say hello to one of Young Money's HOTTEST artist, Nicki Minaj aka BARBIE. Now I'm usually not a fan of many female rappers BUT she has bars and is absolutely gorgeous. When I think about it her flows are better than most niggas out. If you haven't heard of her i'd suggest you go download some of her mixtapes. You might have heard her on Yo Gotti's song "5 Star Bitch remix" or even seen the video. Not only that she was on the BET Hip Hop Awards 2009 and i believe most of you would agree that she kilt it. Did way better then them dudes she was out there spittin with.

Anyways I think she's they best and I agree with her when she says "I'm a bad bad bitch". Now you tell me what you think.

Here's What Teyana Taylor Has to say

2009-10-30T21:00:00.000-07:00

We've seen lots of pictures of her with Chris Brown and with her shirt off and it makes us wonder about the girl. For awhile I thought her and Chris Brown were dating cause looking at pictures of them it seemed like they had so much chemistry. Not to mentioned she also reminded me of Rihanna. But turns out they're just really close and as far as her having pictures with her shirt off, well who doesn't have those.
I like the girl tho so everyone stop the hating please.

On her dating Chris Brown:

Chris is my brother. I’ve always said that. People say a lot of things about me and I’m like I’m only 18. Really??? Is it that serious? People have said I was gay and all type of stuff. Yeh some bloggers, well not really bloggers, but the commenters have said that about me. How can I be gay if I’m still a virgin?

On Her Virginity

The one thing people can never say is that I’m a hoe. I have a purity ring. The only time you get in trouble is if you attempt to do something. If your laying up on a boy then something is going to happen. So I just keep my legs closed until I am ready for that. I can’t have a boyfriend because the only thing they want to do is have sex. I don’t want no fingers up there, no penis, nothing!!! Uh uh (shaking her head no).

Gang Rape (Devastating)

2009-10-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

While on hiphophoney.com i came across this article about a girl who was gang raped outside of her homecoming dance. This is sad but what is even sadder is that a whole group of guys sat around and watched it happen. Not one thought about callin the police and some even joined in... The devil is just evil and has taken over some of these kids lives. Well here goes the story.

A young girl was brutally gang raped right outside her high school dance. A crowd watched the raping and some even did the unthinkable:

A California high school student who police said was gang raped in a two-and-a-half-hour assault outside a homecoming dance, remained hospitalized in stable condition Monday, two days after she was flown from the attack scene in critical condition.

As of late Monday, two suspects had been arrested in the case and a third was being questioned. “There is one individual in custody who has made some spontaneous statements that have led me to believe that he is culpable for what happened,” Richmond police Lt. Johan Simon said. Nineteen-year-old Manuel Ortega, described as a former student at the school, was arrested soon after he fled the scene and will face charges of rape, robbery and kidnapping, police said. A 15-year-old was later arrested and charged with one count of felony sexual assault. A third teenager was being interviewed, according to Lt. Mark Gagan of the police department in Richmond, California. “Based on witness statements and suspect statements, and also physical evidence, we know that she was raped by at least four suspects committing multiple sex acts,” Gagan said.

Investigators said as many as 15 people, all males, stood around watching the assault, but did not call police or help the victim, a 15-year-old student at Richmond High School in suburban San Francisco. “As people announced over time that this was going on, more people came to see, and some actually participated,” Gagan said. Authorities had interviewed the victim, and the search for other attackers and bystanders who watched and did not report the rape was in “full-court press,” according to Gagan.

RANDOM Thought of the day

2009-10-18T15:49:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wanna walk up to a guy, kick him in the balls, and say "TAKE THAT!!!!!"
lol

RIP AJ

2009-10-04T14:54:00.001-07:00

This is so sad. Kandi from the group Xscape and hit Bravo show Real Housewives of ATL had to deal with a tragedy this weekend. Her fiance AJ was killed during a brawl outside of a club. Police think a blow to the head is what killed him. Kandi was so happy and I know she was looking forward to spend her life with this man. It's just such a sad story. All this violence needs to end.

Violence in Chicago

2009-09-28T15:47:00.000-07:00

This is so sad to watch. A 16 year old boy was beat to death when trying to break up a gang fight. This video was posted as a way to try to help find the murders. I don't understand how people can sit around and watch this happen to someone. It is really sad.

Question of the Day......

2009-09-26T15:39:00.000-07:00

Why do men and women cheat?

I can't understand it. What are you getting out of the process besides a quick **** for the night?

Some Good News

2009-09-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

I, Sydney Renee' Reed, Has FINALLY Declared Her Major.
Can You Guess What It Is?
Hmmmm I'm Sure You Guys Know Already
:)

AND..........

I Have An Interview To Be A Personal Assistant For A Modeling Agency..... I Hope Things Keep Getting Good For Me. I Think I Deserve It
:]

Midnight Question....

2009-09-24T00:06:00.000-07:00

This question randomly, well i take that back, This question popped into my head after talking to a friend of mine and i want to get some answers to it. So here it goes:

Why is it so easy to go back to someone but always hard to move on?

Grrrrrrr (relationship advice)

2009-09-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

so i was pretty fucking irritated this weekend when i went back home. I had to deal with all types of drama and mostly it had to do with relationship stuff and the few annoying comments you tend to get from family. I'm usually the one people go to with there relationship problems and I USE to have the solution to all the problems. Lately i haven't, I've just been irritated with the situation. Not only am i trying to help other people out but I'm trying to figure out how to keep my relationship going. I'm away at school so it's not like i can see my boyfriend everyday like i was use to doing. Now i see him every 2 weeks and that's barely working. When i come home it seems like I'm not spending anytime with him but he says he feels like he be needing his "SPACE". of course that pissed me off. I'm like WTF you need space for when i don't even see your punk ass. Yeah this weekend has had me cussing up a storm. Hmmm i usually don't be that way. So since the nigga talking bout he needs space i told him i won't come home for a month. Oh how his whole attitude changed after that. So someone tell me this, If a month is too long to be apart why are you talkin bout you need space for? You obviously like seeing me every 2 weeks. Sometimes dudes confuse the hell out of me. I hate to say it but sometimes i feel like i don't have a boyfriend. This is my first relationship in 2 yrs and i'm trying to be as patient as i can. Someone help me out.......

Excited!!!!!

2009-09-23T12:12:00.000-07:00

So this NhT song is just stuck in my head right now. So I'm posting the video. Let me know if you like the song.

Aww Cute Kid

2009-09-16T21:47:00.001-07:00

Taye Diggs and wife Idina Menzel are pictured above with their son who is two weeks old. I knew he was married but I had no clue he had a kid on the way. Well the baby is adorable and a light bright. Maybe he'll get some color as he gets older. Congrats on the baby!

I Can't Believe This Thought Came to My Head.

2009-09-08T14:32:00.000-07:00

Just last week the thought of dropping out of a state college and just moving back home and going to a JC came to my mind. At a point I was just really sick of school and how expensive it is. My teacher was already giving us tons of work to do and thinking about all of it was stressing me out. I got sick of seeing all the same people and it just made me wanna leave this place. I can't even believe the thought of dropping out came to my head. I should be happy i'm at a college at all. Not many people get to go because they can't afford it at all. So now I'm over this whole stressing thing. I'm going to focus on my work, try to get a job, and return home whenever i can.

Am I Wrong?

2009-09-07T20:58:00.000-07:00

So as you all know i have a boyfriend now. Well if you didnt know now you do. Anyways back to the story. I have this friend, we'll call him Larry. He asks me if he can come over and since we friends I'm like yeah you can I'm coo with that. Then he goes on to ask me if he can stay the night. That's where i had to draw the line. FYI me and "Larry" use to be more than friends so him staying the night is not a good look at all. I sit up and explain that I have a boyfriend now and i'm not about to disrespect him by sleeping in the bed with another man. I wouldn't want him doing that to me. So now "Larry" is mad at me and I feel pretty bad. Now tell me am I wrong from shutting him down.

Been Gone Too Long

2009-08-26T12:31:00.000-07:00

hey my fellow bloggers. I haven't been on here blogging much but i have to update you guys on some stuff. First thing first, I have started school back. Light weight ready to go home already. I don't understand why we have to pay so much to go here and we barely have any classes. At that books all together is damn near $500 dollars. Ain't aint got the money for all that so next on the agenda is getting a job. I got a phone bill, insurance, groceries, and i need gas money. Every now and then ima want to spend on myself too. Hmmmm i have a boyfriend now too. Yes he is 2 years younger than me but so what. He is doing a lot better then these older guys i've been talking to. So now ima be going home every other week to visit him.

p.s. Sorry for not keeping you guys posted on the latest news going on. I'll try to keep up with that if i'm not loaded with homework. MUAH!!!!

Don't Play With Knives

2009-08-11T19:41:00.001-07:00

Hey guys! Remember Sara from Making the Band 2. Yeah that group didn't last long at all. That's beside the point. Sara was arrested last week for stabbing her husband Tony. Supposedly Sara fell down the stairs and banged up her face. She took it out on her husband by stabbing him infront of their three kids. That's something those children should not have to see. Hopefully this is all just a misunderstanding and they get it all together. Wouldn't want to see a happy family break up.

New Seed

2009-08-11T19:01:00.000-07:00

Remember Danger from "For the Love of Ray J?" She was the one with the tiger on her face and everyone made seem crazy. Well guess what? She's pregnant. That baby should be coming soon. Wonder who's the baby's daddy. Let me know who you think it is.

More Than Friends, Less Than Lovers

2009-08-05T20:47:00.000-07:00

Has there every been someone in your life that you've known for years. You tell them everything kinda like you would tell a best friend. This person puts you up on game and tells you the truth no matter how much it hurts. You can go a whole year without seeing this person but you guys also begin where you left off. I have someone like that in my life.
His name is Jesse. We've been friends for almost seven years now. I met him at my cousins 13th birthday party. It doesn't even seem that long ago but it is. We haven't lost contact since that day. We might go months without talking and a year without seeing each other but it never changes anything between us. As much as I change my number I have always managed to get his back. Out of all the guys that come in and out my life he will always mean the world to me.
He was the one that put me up on how these dudes play games and how to avoid it. He was also the one to express how much he cares about. He is someone that cared more about our friendship than jumping into a relationship. Almost seven years later we are still just friends but my feelings for him run deep and I know his does to. Every time we talk we try to put a title on whatever we have but we can't. We never wanted to say we were just friends because it felt so much more than that and it is more than that. I sit up all the time wondering why he is still in my life and why haven't my feelings changed for him one bit. One day I'll get that answer. I know there are a lot of you out there have someone who is more than a friend, less than a lover.

Chris B Doing Tatts Too

2009-08-03T12:25:00.000-07:00

This is pretty weird due to the fact that Rihanna was learning how to do tattoos not too long ago. Is Chris Brown trying to be like Rihanna or are they still secretly seeing each other? Think about it, first we find out they're both in NYC and staying at the same hotel and now this. Seems suspicious to me.

Kandi's Back

2009-07-31T17:35:00.000-07:00

We've been seeing her in scenes from the Tiny & Toya Show and now she is the new star of Real Housewives of ATL. Which is already good. Watched the first episode last night. It looks like she's back on the music scene too. She Has a new song called, "I Like Him" featuring Rasheeda. I LOVE IT but Tell me what you think.

The Warning

2009-07-31T17:22:00.000-07:00

Well I knew sooner or later Eminem was going to have something to say about Mariah Carey since she made that song and video about him. I hope her and her hubby Nick Cannon don't try to come out with anything else to say about Eminem because it can only get worst. In his song it sounds like he took some of the stuff Mariah Carey said on his voicemail and put it in the song. :-/ Check it out for yourself.

50 and Ci-Ci

2009-07-31T16:59:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen these two together since her video, "Can't Leave Him Alone." To be honest I forgot that they even use to be a couple. I was on Bossip looking at the stories and i came across this one. Supposedly they've been seeing each other on and off but was trying to keep it on the low for their careers. Here is what a source close to the couple said, "I just talked to 50 and he said to keep it under wraps, but him and Ciara…… are still together. They are coming out with something soon to show the world their affection for each other. It has been an off and on relationship with both of them taking time from the relationship for their careers. When ever they see each other, the two continue from where they left off. Now that they are getting older, the two are taking their relationship a lot more serious and will be going public in the near future." This is interesting if it's not a lie. We all know how Bossip tends to put a lot on stories.

Drake Talks About his Video

2009-07-31T15:48:00.000-07:00

I guess it was suppose to be funny. Not trying to be rude but there was nothing funny about it to me. All i seen were titties bouncing around every where.

Drake says to MTV's Sway, "That career move was very important to me. We’ve done such a great job of building it all up. It’s kind of like people were getting this impression of me that I’m never gonna make a mistake. I’m not made of Teflon. I’m gonna do things for myself sometimes, as opposed to what people want me to do.

If you listen to the song, I’m not saying the most graceful thing in the world. It’s not the most heartfelt song,” Drizzy continued. “I say some pretty Wild things in regards to women in the actual song. When me and Kanye were in the studio working on a song for Big Sean, we were talking about it. We saw a comedic element to it. I felt that the climate in the world right now, everything in the world is so serious all the time, my life is serious, I just wanted to laugh.."

Loso's Way

2009-07-29T20:19:00.000-07:00

So I like Fabolous but I've never been a huge fan of his. His ablum, "Loso's Way" dropped yesterday and I haven't stopped hearing about it since. He also got some good reviews. Well i decided to check it out myself and I love it. Keri Hilson, Ne-Yo, Trey Songz, Jeremih, Lil Wayne and a few other make apperances on some of the songs. This ablum is a MUST get so if you don't have it i suggest you go out and get it ASAP.

Calling it Quits

2009-07-27T15:06:00.000-07:00

Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush have decided to call it quits. I never thought i would see the day. Not too long ago Kim Kardashian was just talking about how she didn't want their children to grow up around racist people. Well it looks like children are out of the question if this couple have really decided to end the relationship. The good thing is their relationship didn't end because someone cheated or some other drama. Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian had a mutual understanding. As we got to see on her families show, the two didn't get to spend much time together because of their busy schedules. All the time apart is what stopped this power couple. I'm sure they will stay good friends and hopefully try to make it work again.

Let the Lames GOOOOOOOO

2009-07-26T20:36:00.000-07:00

It seems like the 19 years I've been here and the 6 years I've been dating, I have only came across lame dudes. Lame as in weak, simple minded, and almost everything about him is unacceptable. What I'm trying to figure out is how come i always come across these kinds of guys? It makes no sense and I'm sure there are tons of women out there, my age and older, trying to figure out the same thing. Whatever it is we all need to get out of the situation and let these lame ass dudes go. We have such high standards but they seem to go down as soon as we meet a fine ass guy with some good..... well you know the rest... We all need to stop that because they be the main ones that turn out to be LAME LAME LAME. If you're not sure if he's lame maybe this list below will help.

10 Reasons to Let it Go?

1. He doesn't have his own car. (both yall asses can't be walking and we sho ain't taking the bus together)

2. Ole boy is quick to try to mess up another dudes game by talking shit about him (Not a good look. That's not making you look any better men, it makes you look like an ass. Not attractive at all)

3. He is always talking about what he got. (if you ain't seen it don't believe it)

4. He uses the same lines every time he calls you. For example: She; How was your day? He; It's better now that I'm talking to you. (ugh that line gets old)

5. Can we say J.O.B? if he ain't got one that's a big no no.

6. If he still living with his momma let it go. (I'm telling you right now NO privacy)

7. He already asking you for things and you guys not even official yet.

8. When you text him he can't respond but he expects you to answer your phone at 3, 4, 5 in the morning. (those are booty call hours)

9. If he can't meet your family you really need to let it go.

10. When he spends all day with his friends hoopin, playing video games, dominoes and driving around "making money" LET IT GO

If you see more than one of these in the guy you are with i suggest you get out of that situation ASAP. I can come up with so many other reasons but i thought i should just stop at ten. If you have any others feel free to post them in a comment.

Love Me or Hate Me (I Don't Really Care)

2009-07-23T13:44:00.000-07:00

I wish everyone would get off of Solange Knowles case. Yeah she cute her hair, So What! Who hasn't? Cassie is half bald, Amber rose has no hair, Lala, Rihanna and the list goes on. The sad thing about it is everyone is talking about Solange so bad but has barely said anything about these other girls. Solange took to her twitter to say a few things.

"dont. want. a. edge. up. or a perm. because. im not trying. to make this "a style" or a statement."

"stupid. paps. took. pic. ive. had. my. hair. cut. like. this. for. two. weeks. i. was. NOT. inspired. by anyone. but. my. self."

Solange Knowles even made a statement about people worrying more about her hair than about what's going on in Iran, which is sad. I'm glad she doesn't care what people have to say about her. Solange will always be Solange and do what she wants to do. I love her style and her music. There is no one like Solange Knowles and that's why I lover her.

The King of Twitter Fights.

2009-07-22T16:53:00.000-07:00

Ok Soulja Boy, Ima need you to calm all this nonsense on twitter out. It seems like every time I turn around he is arguing with someone on twitter. This is not high school and i just really think he should get over it. First he's upset because the New Boyz said they wouldn't do a song with him ever and he tries to put out a diss track on them talking about ruining their career. To be honest neither of them are that great. They come out with these songs talking about nothing at all. Can we get something new people. Then Soulja Boy gets mad at JoJo Simmons for saying,

“Lyrically Soulja Boy aint to dope but musically he’s a genuis this join right here kinda catchy http://tinyurl.com/kppxg3”

As soon as Soulja Boy seen this he was quick to tweet something to JoJo.

“@YoungSimmons Lyrically I ain’t dope?.. “Kinda” catchy? Watch your mouth bruh..”

Soulja Boy who are you to be telling someone to watch their mouth? You are not his elder. Honestly if I was Soulja I'd be happy that my songs were catchy. That still means people gonna be listening to them no matter how much they think he sucks. Anyways someone must have talked to Soulja Boy because he was quick to delete the tweet before JoJo Simmons seen it.

Who will he have twitter beef with next?

New vs Old

2009-07-21T17:47:00.000-07:00

This year Ciara has had a whole new look. She has cut her hair, lost some weight and even dresses more feminine. If you ask me, well i don't like the new look much. I miss the old Ciara, the one that kind of had an Aaliyah swag. The nice long dark weave, the baggy sweats and the shorts that showed off her wondeful stomach. When Ciara first came out she had the best curves. All you heard about was how much the guys loved her. Now i haven't really been hearing much of that. The good thing is she still has some great music.

Which Ciara do you like more?

Official Video : NHT BOYZ "House of Love"

2009-07-21T14:09:00.000-07:00

If you live in the Bay Area or even Sac I'm sure you know who the NhT Boyz are. If you don't know, they are a rap group consisting of 4 members, Knowledge, Lil Black, Nikatine and Young Beast; All raised in Oakland, CA. Some songs you may know are, "Introduction", "Ying Yang Gang" (which is one of my favorites) and "Good." Here is their new video for "House of Love". I enjoyed it. It was a real cute video and love the song. How bout you be the judge and let me know what you think?

This Is My Apology.......

2009-07-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

Chris has finally came out with a video apologizing about the incident that happened in February with R&B singer Rihanna. Many people don't want to hear anything that Chris Brown has to say but personally I'm happy he came out asking for forgiveness. What he did was unacceptable and no man should ever beat on a woman. I just don't like the fact that the media put so much on it when people who aren't famous have this type of thing happen to them everyday and no one seems to care. I believe this will eventually go away and Chris Brown's fans will love him the same way they did when he first came on the music scene.

MTV Shows

I wonder what Rihanna's reaction was when she seen or heard about this?

Hot

2009-07-19T12:49:00.001-07:00

Trina is gorgeous. I love this pic of her and Kenyon Martin. That's her NBA Player. They've been together for over a year now

What's Going On

2009-07-19T12:22:00.000-07:00

There's no secret about what goes on in Twitterville. All the stars are hip to it. They tell everyone what's been happening throughout the day and you can even post pictures using Twit Pic and other websites linked to twitter. Just last week Teyana Taylor posted this picture of her, Chris Brown and Omarion showing off their abs.

Well it looked like Ms. Taylor wanted a little more attention. She just recently decided to post a picture of herself in her pink bra. Some pictures should just be kept to yourself.

Guess Who's Engaged

2009-07-19T12:16:00.001-07:00

Yep, Christina Milian. The rock on her finger is just amazing. I would love to have one of those in the future maybe even a better one.

They look so happy together. I wish them luck.

Help Please

2009-07-17T17:34:00.000-07:00

So i was wondering is it wrong to kiss a guy who is just your friend? When i say kiss i don't mean a full make out session. I'm just talking about a forehead kiss and a peck on the lips bye. Does this turn into someone having feelings for you?

Official Video : Mariah Carey "Obsessed"

2009-07-16T16:41:00.000-07:00

I definitely enjoyed watching Mariah Carey dressed up like Eminem. Who knew Mariah Carey had it in her to diss someone in a song and then put it in the video. Like all Mariah's videos i loved it and this is a great song

In This Together

2009-07-15T10:40:00.000-07:00

Walking hand and hand down the streets of NYC, that's how a couple should be. I read some articles that said the couple had called it quits but from the looks of it that was all just a rumor that the media loves to spread around.Well I have some good news on Dawn. She is working on a new group and they are called, "Dirty Money." The only thing I'm hoping for is this isn't just one of those groups that have a one hit wonder. As for Q, he's still touring with Day 26. Things are looking real good for them.

Can we say FREAKY!!!!!

2009-07-13T17:59:00.001-07:00

If you can't tell who's kissing in the picture, well that would be Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewive: Gabrielle Solis) and Hubby, Tony Parker (NBA Player). Well apparently she loves a man who takes charge in the bedroom. She says it's a big turn on. "I’m not averse to being tied up with silk scarves," she tells Cosmopolitan's Best Ever Sex survey of A-list celebs. Eva also says, "I like a man to take charge. There’s something very sexy about being submissive." Well you go girl, whatever floats your boat.

The Next New Tattoo Artist

2009-07-13T14:51:00.000-07:00

While in NYC Rihanna got tattoo lessions. Look at her as she goes to work on these two men

Ri Ri Misses Chris

2009-07-13T14:41:00.001-07:00

Rumor has it that Rihanna is missing Chris Brown and has been a nervous wreck because of it. A source tells Now Magazine that, “It’s so hard for her. She knows her family would freak out if she told them she wants to get on with Chris, so she has to hide her feelings.”

The sourse also went on to say how she was afraid to testify against Chris Brown In court. “She’s been a nervous wreck for weeks as she was so terrified that Chris would hate her after she testified. Whenever she starts crying, she has to pretend that she’s been having flashbacks to the attacks. But it isn’t that. It’s because she misses him and can’t believe it came to this after everything they had going. She’s mad with him, but at the same time she blames herself.”

This is just sad. You may love him Ri Ri but it's time for you to move on. Chris Brown doesn't deserve you and it seems as if he is over this whole situation.

Guess Who?

2009-07-13T14:11:00.001-07:00

Look at these lovely ladies. Before they became famous they were regular High School Kids

You'd never guess who this is? I sure didn't. Never thought Fergie would be a cheerleader. She was just as pretty back then as she is today. Look at those blue eyes. just gorgeous.

There goes Beyonce'. Didn't take me any time at all to figure out who this was. Nothing as really changed much about B except that hair of hers and she has a bangin body now.

Next up is Angelina Jolie. She still has those big pretty eyes and here is living proof that those juicy lips are really hers.

Well we should all know who this is. Mariah Carey's looks haven't changed one bit. Still beautiful as ever.

Kendra Wilkinson's Wedding Photos

2009-07-13T13:53:00.000-07:00

The Honeymooners

2009-07-13T13:37:00.000-07:00

Aww look at the honeymooners. Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett married on June 27th at the playboy mansion. I'll post some of her wedding pictures soon. Soon after the wedding they went to spend their honeymoon in St. Lucia. They look like such a happy couple

Girlfriend or Friend?

2009-07-12T21:22:00.000-07:00

Pictured is Jon Gosselin from Jon and Kate Plus 8. I was hoping this girl, who is only 23 years old, was just his friend since he seems to have a lot of those. Well from the looks of it I can be wrong. Friends don't walk around holding hands like that, I wouldn't especially after recently being separated from my husband. Come on Jon Gosselin, you're not even divorced yet. What makes it worse is he has 8 little children and Kate Gosselin has been seen walking around wearing her wedding ring still. This is just a sad story. I wish they would have stayed together because these kids need both of their parents. Hopefully Jon Gosselin doesn't get too caught up in being single and still has time for his children

I Don't Understand

2009-07-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

Why are guys so confusing? I always have my guy friends explain to me how I'm everything a guy wants in a girlfriend but then I see them talking to girls that are completely different from me. Hmmm can I say there kinda hoodrat-ish, a little slutty, and have a major attitude. That doesn't seem like that should be anybodys girlfriend.

Why is it that guys always go for the loud mouth, that's my baby daddy, ripper slipper wearing, colorful weave havin, that's why I slept with your boyfriend females? lol am I wrong for saying that? Why don't you guys go for the girl who respects her body, stays away from the negativity and is a sweet educated girl, who has goals in life. And by goals I don't mean being a video girl I mean who wants to make something out of herself by doing something positive? Be a lawyer or a doctor, even a famous writer.

Guys can sit up and explain the perfect girl but at the end of the day they will always go for something else and I don't think I will ever understand it.

The Introduction of Marcus Cooper

2009-07-11T01:40:00.000-07:00

Been loving this guy since the Pretty Ricky days. There's always one person in a group that stands out the most and Pleasure P was the member of the group that stood out. His vocal skills are something nice. All i have to say is if you don't have his debut album you need to go out and get it RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"Did You Wrong" was the first single released and he came out with a video to his second single "Under," which featured Tia Mowry, who starred as his leading lady

Recognize These Girl???

2009-07-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

Pictured to the right is Mila J and Jhene Aiko, two very gorgeous girls. It seems like they don't get much recognition these days. Why? I wish I knew the answer. These two ladies have great voices and very catchy songs. I first noticed Mila J, to the left of Jhene Aiko in a group called Dame Four. They had a hit song called "How We Roll." It was a good song but never heard much from the group after that. Mila J then became a solo artist which was a very good look for her. One song people may remember is "Good Lookin' Out" ft Marques Houston. That was definitely a hit. I just wish people would pay more attention to her. Then there's Jhene Aiko, beautiful voice. I can listen to her over and over again. I believe her first hit was called, "NO L.O.V.E." and she always had a song on the You Got Served soundtrack Called "Happy" ft Omarion. We all know who he is. She also has a baby by Omarion's younger brother O'Ryan. Cute kid. One of my favorite songs by Jhene Aiko is "Wait No More." To a girl my age it has so much meaning. I follow Jhene on twitter and she is such a loving person who loves all her fans. I just wish people would give her the recognition she deserves.

Official Video. Sweet Dreams by Beyonce'

2009-07-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

Beyonce has finally came out with a video for one of my favorite songs off the album I Am... Sasha Fierce. I love the lyrics and her dance moves are always on point. Even though i love the dancing I'm sick of seeing it in every single video. I want to see a video that actually has a story behind it, some real meaning. While everyone here you go and don't be afraid to tell me what you think.

NIVEA TOO!!!!!!!

2009-07-09T17:46:00.000-07:00

Looks like the rumor about Nivea being pregnant is also true, here's a pic. Can you see her baby bump? I sure do. Funny how a picture of her pops up a week after Lauren London shows off her baby bump at Diddy's all white party. Lil Wayne??? SMH. Can't wait to see what this babies look like.

Look At the Happy Couple

2009-07-09T17:17:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen any pictures of Eva Marcielle, who is the winner of America's Next Top Model and has also made appearances on shows, The Game and Tyler Perry's House of Payne. I just recently found out she's engaged to Lance Gross, who stars on House of Payne. They make one beautiful couple and they look so happy together. This image was taken in Hollywood, California on Mr. Gross's 28th bitrthday.

Gotta Love Songz

2009-07-08T20:24:00.000-07:00

Trey Songz is one handsome man with a gorgeous smile. He was fine when he had the braids but now he's just plain sexy. Trey made a good choice when it came to cutting off the hair. Ladies I know you agree and if you don't, well you're outta your flippin mind. Not only is he gorgeous but he's a great singer. I swear I get butterflies when I hear him sing. I currently have his song, "Invented Sex" ft Drake, as my ringtone. I can tell you now it's a great song and you'll never get tired of it. Oh and I hope people aren't out there hating on his remakes of songs like, Every Girl, Ego, and Birthday Sex. He definitely killed those. At least to me he did.

He even looks good in black and white :)

Mr. Songz also has a twitter if you would like to see what he's doing on a daily. The URL is twitter.com/SongzYuuup

Say It Ain't So

2009-07-07T22:41:00.000-07:00

I'm sure everyone has heard the rumor about Lauren London, star of the hit movie, ATL, being pregnant. By who you ask? Hmmm that would be no other than one of the "best rappers alive," Lil Wayne, who is also rumored to have gotten the singer Nivea pregnant . Sounds like a bunch of drama to me. Poor Ms. London. I feel and know she can do so much better than Lil wayne. She is a very beautiful women and talented at that. I didn't want to believe the rumors but now that i've seen the picture it's definitely confirmed that she's prego. Congrats & Good Luck girl. You're still gorgeous to me.

HERE'S THE PIC EVERYONE

Best I Ever Had by Drake

2009-07-07T22:03:00.000-07:00

Very disappointed in this video by Drake. Everyone loves the song and I'm sure they expected it to be so much more than it was since the director was Kanye West. Hmmmm maybe Kanye should get his creative juices flowing a little bit more before he decides to direct another video. Let me know what you think.

Never Do For A Nigga What He Won't Do For You

2009-06-29T12:06:00.000-07:00

Just a thought of mine

So i'm starting to realize there are a lot of girl out there that do a lot for men and these men don't even deserve it. Women are so quick to say yes when a man ask them to do or give them something. Girls don't be so dumb, stop and take a minute to think. Would he be willing to stop everything he is doing to come pick you up, would he be willing to come visit you if you asked, is he someone who would lend you money if you really needed it, would he take time off from what he is doing to bring you something to eat, basically would he do all the things you do for him for you? if the answer is NO leave the nigga alone cause he is not a man. Those are signs to leave because you are just wasting your time and money on someone that doesn't deserve it and he definitely doesn't deserve your heart.

I'm In Love

2009-06-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

He can sing and when he sings my heart skips a beat I feel every word he is saying to me
When i'm feeling down he knows exactly what to say to cheer me up
Never do i have to explain my day because he already knows what i'm going to say
We are always thinking about the same things
He doesn't judge me or tell me what to do
I know if he isn't with me he's at home waiting for me
He has always been there for me when i needed him , 24/7 7/24 and will continue to be there for me
I love him and he love me.
What can i say? I'm in love; In love with MUSIC

Used vs. Loved

2009-06-23T16:12:00.000-07:00

My mother sent this to me and I thought it would be nice to share it. Reading this made me sad and made me think about how much we take the people in our lives for granted and how we tend to focus more on material things.

Used vs. Loved

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked up a
stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took
the child's hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a
wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple
fractures.

When the child saw his father.....with painful eyes he asked,
'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'

The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked
it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions.......sitting in front
of that car he looked at the scratches; the child had written 'LOVE YOU
DAD'.

The next day that man committed suicide. . Anger and Love have no
limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life..... Things
are to be used and people are to be loved, But the problem in today's
world is that, People are used and things are loved...

During the day, be careful to keep this thought in mind: Things
are to be used, but People are to be loved ... Be yourself....This is
the only day we HAVE. Have a nice day Watch your thoughts; they become
words. Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits they become
character; Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

2009-06-12T13:55:00.000-07:00

Happiness; state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy

I was told by my cousin that happiness is a journey not a destination. Everyone wants to be happy for the rest of their lives but happiness is impermanent. That's one thing in life that comes and goes and sometimes it can take awhile to get it back depending on who you are. Some people find happiness in being with someone but you should never depend on anyone, especially a man to make you happy because in the end all you really have is you and the wonderful man up above. I use to believe if I had someone i would be happy but at the end of the day when I'm by myself laying in bed thinking I realize I'm happier when I'm alone or around family and I stress more when i have a man in my life. I would never want to live my life that way.

"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within." -Ramona L. Anderson

Just a Thought

2009-06-09T22:07:00.000-07:00

Why does life have to be so hard?
Sometimes i look around and it seems like people have it so easy.
And it makes me ask myself why does my family have to struggle?
It hurts me inside.
I want to be able to help my mom pay bills.
I want to buy my parents nice gifts.
I want to be able to repay my grandmother for everything she does for me.
I want to give my sisters things just because.
I want to be able to say i want this w/o worrying about how much it cost.
It would be great if i could pay my own way through college.
But life isn't that easy.
I have to continue to pray for a better day.
I have to stay focused and make it to that stage.
My parents will be proud to say my baby is a college graduate.
All i have to do is keep believing and all my hopes and dreams will come true.
Trust & Believe

Late night

2009-06-02T01:53:00.000-07:00

It's 1:54 AM and all I can do is sit up and think.

Only if I could go back in time..............

And SHE is ME....

2009-05-31T22:42:00.000-07:00

She sits around wondering what did she do to be treated this way
She tried her best to make others around her happy
But what did she get in return
A fuck you and have a good day
Still she walked around with a smile on her face
That was as bright as a summer day
She laughed like there was no tomorrow
And when you looked into her eyes you could see a new day
It’s funny how one person can make life seem so great
In reality her smile was just a frown turned upside down
She laughed because it made everything seem ok
And if you looked deep in her eyes you would see a girl filled with pain
Pain from the friends she’s lost
The many men that took her love for granted
And made her feel like she was the only thing that mattered in their lives
When the truth was they never really cared
But till this day she still holds her head up high
And thanks god for helping her make it through the day

What is LOVE?

2009-05-31T21:56:00.000-07:00

"What is LOVE?" is one question i always seem to get from friends and it's one question I can never seem to answer. I want to go into full detail to them about what LOVE is but I can't because I've never got to experience it. I look at couples and they always seem so happy together and I automatically think, "Awww they're in LOVE." That's what we think but it may be something different, something like lust. I've been in two relationships and in both I thought I found LOVE but once they ended I realized it was nothing but strong like. When I look back on my relationships I think about all the bad things that went on throughout them and that's what made me know there was no kind of love there. So now I'm on this journey trying to find the answers to my friends question and I'm starting to think my journey is almost over. I think I found LOVE but only time will tell. I may not have the full answer but this is what LOVE is to me.....

LOVE is when:

your every thought is about him/her
Whenever you hear a love song he/she comes to mind
You think about that person's feelings before your own
You wait around for this person to call or text you
A simple hi from him/her makes you smile
your heart starts racing as soon as you see him/her walking your way
he/she feels down so do you
You ditch your friends just to spend time with that person
You cry at night because you can't see yourself with anyone else
you can come up with a million reasons why you LOVE this person